Things that Go Squish in the Night

Many of you have no doubt heard about my recent tales of misery trying to find a new roommate. I finally broke down and placed an ad on Craigs List, and have gotten two replies (both from men) so far. I figure I'll have to update it to get it to the top of the list again tonight. Anyway, I'm meeting with one of the potential new roomies on Saturday, after I've completed the Soldier Field 10 miler. He works for the Man, is 29, fairly active, and already lives in Wrigleyville. His situation is not unlike my own: roommates are leaving him for their respective significant others.

Fingers crossed he's not a pervert or looking for a girlfriend. He's on facebook, and I couldn't tell from his picture what he looks like really. I hope he's average looking. Because, if he's too attractive, it'll be weird. It's true...and I think that's a good rule to live by. Don't live with someone that much prettier than you. Granted, there's always someone more attractive than you, but that doesn't mean you have to live with them. You could date them, and live with them later. I've learned this from years of watching sitcoms starring roommates who are all attractive. It can only lead to disaster.

Oddly enough, my current roommate is trying to get me to move. Why? I really can't tell for sure. She claims it's more expensive than it's worth, we've got a bit of a centipede problem (more on that later), and the neighbors are a bit loud. The price seems right for Wrigleyville to me, and our place is huge. I'm going to talk to the landlord about the bugs. And really, even though the neighbors are loud, it's not bad enough to make me want to move. Again.

Onto the bugs. When we first moved in, we started to notice those scary centipedes around. More than you should see them. I feel as if seeing more than one per day and seven per week is far too many. It means there are larger problems lurking. So our landlord sprayed twice. I'm going to have him do it again. I don't care if centipedes eat the other creepy crawlies...they are SCARY. Case in point, I woke up at 5 AM to do my circuit workout on the path, and turned on the light by my bed, only to see one of the centipedes curled up by my slippers. I went into panic attack mode, sat there, and started to cry. I formulated a plan involving getting out on the other side of my bed, running to the kitchen closet, grabbing the can of Raid, and drowning the sucker. No sooner did I make my move, did I notice another of his comrades on the other side of my bed by the wall. Now is when the screaming begins. I was shaking as I somehow made it off of my bed and grabbed the Raid. These guys were big ones, too. So big, that when I started to spray one, he started coming after me. It was at least one continual minute of spraying before I was finally able to send him to the next world. Then I moved onto his buddy, careful to avoid my slippers. All the while I sobbed because this is not what I want to wake up to. Ever. This also means that when I go home, I have a list of things to do:

1. Core workout
2. Eat dinner
3. Sweep and Swiffer the entire apartment

Do any of you know a truly effective way to deal with these guys? I read that they rarely are even able to bite people (although I'm assuming the bigger they are, the bigger the teeth), and that they like damp environments, which is why you often find them in basements and bathrooms. But we don't live in a basement! Hell, I didn't even see this many centipedes when I was living in a basement last year!!! I'm at my wit's end with this. I don't want to move, really, at all, but I also don't want to have to endure six months of centipedes until a good frost settles in and kills the little fuckers.

Help, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!