Raise the Stakes

My Shakespeare teachers would always say that, and they're always right, you need to "raise the stakes" in a monologue or scene.  You may think you've got it.  You understand the character's needs, etc., but in actuality, you're not making anything important enough.

That's just a sidebar for this blog.  Raising the stakes in life is imperative.  And now, things are very important and instead of feeling empowered, I feel very lost.  My roommate is leaving me, and even though I'm so close to finding a new one, that's not certain either.  We were supposed to meet for a drink tonight, and I've called him twice, and haven't heard from him.  Everyone's got me scared with talk of dangerous encounters with the wrong roommate, background checks, references, etc.  Maybe I'm overreacting.  A tad.  But, what am I supposed to do?  No one has come through for me with an alternative other than craigslist. 

I guess that's it.  I guess I'm going to have to move again.  Obviously, I need to spend more time on my own, because I don't do enough of that already.

And I have to do my long run alone tomorrow because I have to take my car to the dealer and pray that it can be fixed in the space of one day.  

My theatre company has auditions this weekend, which is great.  Ryan's going to carry this through, that's for sure.  I'm hoping to be a part of it on stage this time, which will hopefully mark the end of my two year hiatus from the stage.  

And I leave for Ecuador next Tuesday.  My excitement is tempered by the reality that I really can't afford this trip right now.  I will literally be counting every single penny I spend.  Down to the last one.  What's worse, my parents are giving me money for it too.  

Amazing.  I love feeling like a failure at life.  So here I sit...waiting for someone who is feeling less and less likely to be the roommate for me.  What happens next?  Most likely a whole lot of nothing.