If running is going to be my therapy, then I need to regain the will to eat food.
I haven't been eating a lot lately, and while I'm sure that's good for my bridesmaid dress, it's not good for running. I can estimate that my daily caloric intake since last Thursday has been less than 1100. But I haven't been hungry. And when I do eat the bare minimum to get by, I get all nauseous and that's just not good at all either. Stupid depression.
But I was getting away with it because the weather decided to be mild when I did run. Adrenaline probably had something to do with it too. Today, however, my body finally said "no."
I knew this morning's run was going to be a bad one. I hadn't gotten much sleep last night, nor had I eaten much. I definitely didn't eat anything before I left for my run. I checked the temperature. At 5 AM it was already 74 degrees. The humidity was nearly that as well. When I walked outside, it felt like I was choking.
But...I want to run...I want to feel good all through today. So I went anyway. The entire thing was a death march. I stopped at every water fountain to drink and splash water on my face. I could barely maintain a 10:30 pace. 30 minutes is what I told myself I'd do. Maybe I could even squeak 3 miles out of that. Maybe...
Oh and I saw a member of the Shirtless Boys Running Club out this morning. With a dog. Repeat after me: "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..."
Anywho, I made it to the end, about 32 minutes and 3.02 miles later. I'm glad I did it. No matter how bad a run starts out as, or how bad the entire run ends up being, I've never regretted doing it. The run itself is its own reward in the end. I'm glad I didn't reset my alarm and convince myself that I'd run when I got home from work instead. I'm glad I didn't cry during this run too. I'm also glad that through the craziness of biology, my body reminded me that I need to eat some food.
Okay, okay...a lot more food.
3 comments:
Please eat and take care of yourself. I know it is hard when you are feeling down, but sometimes you have to force yourself. I tend to have the opposite problem, but I know that they are symptoms of the same issue.
Shirtless Boys Club with a dog?! Nice! You need to start running with your camera, girl! ;)
Take care!
aww, i hope you are feeling better! eating is kinda important--and not just for running. hopefully things will fall into place for you soon. *hugs*
Hope you feel better, girl! Just read your last post. I know how you feel...been there. Take heart...things will get better, I promise. Force yourself to eat. You need to eat to run and running will help you feel better.
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