Well...that was interesting

My move is complete, for six months at least. And the RnR Half is over. I had to give myself a day before I posted because, well, the race did not go well. I knew it wasn't going to be a good one, but I didn't think I'd perform as badly as I did.

I don't want to rehash the race too much, but basically, I started out a little fast and knew it, but I wanted to stick with my friends. We're all usually the same speed so I figured I'd settle into the pace a few miles in. Sadly, that didn't happen. By the time I hit Roosevelt Road (about 5 miles in), I couldn't feel my legs, except for my knees, which really hurt. I just felt exhausted. Not simply tired, but fatigued. I walked for a moment whilst eating some shot bloks and then picked up the pace again. Even after walking for about a minute, I still felt terrible. Around mile 8, the 2:15 pace group caught up to me. My long run pacer B told me to runs easy and just try to chalk this up to another training run. Race over. As they passed me, I realized that I'd probably been on pace to finish somewhere around the 2:05 mark, which was clearly too ambitious at this point. So I soldiered on. Apparently, I wasn't the only one in the Lakefront Angels who needed to slow down. Korin, who was with the group that I started with and then left me around mile 5, caught up with my around mile 8 as well. I apparently had passed her at mile 6. We both stuck together for the remainder of the race, walking through the aid stations and pushing each other when we could.

After we'd crossed the finish line, my muscles started seizing up. I felt like I had just finished a full marathon. To say that the race was disheartening for me would be putting it too mildly. It was like my poor little running soul had been kicked in the ass. I started second-guessing everything...I wasn't training hard enough, I was training too hard, I was never going to get faster, I was going to have to drop back a few pace groups, I wasn't a runner after all. These thoughts continued to haunt me for the rest of the day. I couldn't even look my friends in the eye when I returned to the CES tent. With the exception of Korin (without whom, I doubt I'd have finished the race), everyone else had a great race. PR's all around and my friend Jen finally got her sub-2 hour half marathon.

In other words, Epic. Fail.

Honestly, it still feels like that today. I'd be completely lying if I said that I'd dusted myself off and was ready to go again. I will, of course, run again. Most likely, tomorrow morning. But the major feeling dominating my psyche is apprehension.

I guess this is also a lesson in planning. I should have lowered my expectations and run my own race immediately upon realizing that I'd be contending with a tremendous lack of sleep over a period of two weeks and an adjusted workout schedule.

So, here I am, ready to try again. And that opportunity will be at the Madison Mini-Marathon at the end of this month. I don't know what that race will hold, but I'm up for it.