I was kind of excited about getting a run in this morning. Sometime around 4 AM I was woken up out of a sound sleep by the thunder and lightening. Prior to that, I was woken up around midnight by what sounded like someone trying to break down the door to the apartment above me. I went outside, found out it was some drunk floozy, and threatened to call the police if she didn't knock it off. She swore at me, I gave her the evil eye and grabbed my mobile phone, she then stopped.
So I desperately needed to burn off some steam with a good run in the AM. But I was worried. Once again, I love a good rainy run, but not if there's a chance I'll be struck dead by Mother Nature's wrath. Luckily, when I finally got up and moving at 5 AM, there was only a drizzle and no more scary fireworks, thanks.
The skies did open up and pour a few times during my run, but it was mostly clear and windy. You could tell, however, that it was going to become extremely humid. I was glad then to get the run out of the way in the morning, as opposed to sleeping in and running after work. I had another negative split run, mostly thanks to my lack of math skills and a tailwind.
The run was nearly perfect, until I just over a mile from home. It came out of nowhere. It enveloped me. It stopped me in my tracks. It induced vomiting.
I'm not talking about the volcano taco from Toxic Hell (although I am intrigued by that red shell...). No, I am talking about the largest cloud of gnats I have ever encountered. It was so big and thick that you'd think I'd have noticed it before I was right in the middle of it. Alas no, I was moving along at a pretty good clip and was just South of the curve by the Totem pole. Before I could process what had happened, I was surrounded. They were in my hair, my eyes, my nose and my mouth. So I puked, because I have the worst gag reflex in the world. I also had stopped running and was swatting frantically. Thank God there's next to no one on the path in the morning, especially when the weather is shitty. But, I still had to get home, so after a few more heaves, I was on my way again, but this time carefully scanning the path in front of me.
The score currently stands like this: Gnats - 1.5 million
Me - 0
Oh gnats, you got me this time. I'll admit, I had grown complacent in the dreary Winter months. You may have won this round but I'll be ready next time.
Just wait...
2 comments:
I just...ate a bug.
Overboard. Love the film.
Run with a fly swatter next time. No, wait, the gnats will likely fit through the little holes. Forget it. Just, good luck, next time.
~cv
That's a kick @$$ running story if I ever heard one! Reminds me of when I used to live on the near west side, and my occasional weekday route would take me just into downtown...so one morning I was running, turning around on Clinton or one of those western downtown streets. So as I am running past one of those tall buildings. ssshhhhhhhPLOP!!!!!! Dead pigeon! Inches from my feet. INCHES! My theory is it hit a window up high and fell to its death, as they often do near tall buildings. I would have puked and possibly fainted if that thing had hit me. Ew.
Post a Comment